A little more...A little less

 As a little girl I had big dreams....and as a big girl I have big dreams...but oh how they have changed.  In my childhood I was taught that I could be anything, do anything, reach for anything and achieve it.  I still believe this is true but what wasn't told me was that the "hard work" to achieve these dreams isn't the only thing that is hard...life is hard.  Somehow there was an unspoken, and at times described, picture of life unfolding so beautifully and with ease. The older I get the more I realize this couldn't be farther from the truth.

The truth? Life is hard.  Bottom line.  We ALL face, have faced or are walking toward tragedy. Why does it always surprise us?  Why do we imagine it won't happen? We reach for the stars and find that we often fall instead of landing there.  We compare ourselves to the reports of success we read in our news feeds, emails and to what we see...or what we think we see. Feelings of inadequacy wash over us and we avoid saying hello to our early-bird friends in the carpool line, wondering what they might think of our tired eyes, leftover mascara and breakfast covered tank top.  Isolation starts that easily.

Strangely the only time we connect with these people is when we reveal, honestly, our struggle...and open ourselves up to a world of similarity finding that we all share the bond of hardship, the bond of hope and the need to bear the burden together.

Why is this so hard for us?  We're broken...and we isolate ourselves into a lie just as big as the dreams we are fed as children and told to dream.

A little more honesty...a little more grace for each other...a little more time holding children, reading books to them and joining them on the slip n' slide and a little less time with seasonal decorating for visitors (that come by once a season...maybe??), a little less time scrubbing walls that don't talk and cannot be loved and a little less time stressing our lack.  A little more smiling and a little less comparing.  A little more saving and a little less debt.  A little less of everything that doesn't last...and a lot more of everything that does.  That's my goal...maybe it will involve a smaller house...a less pretty car without leather...fewer clothing purchases and pricey dates with my husband...and a lot less pressure.  It's hard to choose these things...what if friends think we just don't have money? What if they think times are tough and we're really burdened?  And...what if it inspires them to take a deep breath and lighten the load for themselves? Stay tuned...change is a comin'. :)