The quadripolarity that is pregnancy :)

As I approach the end of this pregnancy and the culmination of a new chapter with a precious baby boy there is such a mix of emotions and very different things happening in me both literally and figuratively.

On the one hand there is the clumsy, uncomfortable, forgetful me that is sometimes overly emotional and cries over things like a shirt that doesn't cover my belly anymore... :) Thankfully I have a kind husband who overlooks my "moment" and knows it will be short-lived.

Then there's the me that readily blames my almost daily mistakes on pregnancy brain. Last week we were out to dinner with friends and I had driven - I usually drive when I'm pregnant becuase I tend to get carsick very easily. When we went to leave the restaurant I couldn't find my keys. "Is that our van running?" E said. "Ummm..." I wanted to hide and desperately hoped to see another maroon Sienna minivan with Colorado plates somewhere nearby but sure enough - that was our van - running...warm...for 2 1/2 hours. Lights on and ready to go. Thankfully nobody took our warm and cozy car and thankfully it didn't experience any engine issues after idling for that long!!

And now...there is the me that loves being pregnant. I marvel at the miracle God created in the way babies grow and are born. I hold tightly to the preciousness of carrying this little one who needs nothing at all but what he gets from my body...I cherish the closeness we share and know that we will never be this close again for this long. I am fascinated as I try to figure out whether an arm, a leg or a heiney is poking me and what he is doing. What a precious gift....alive and well...with no job to do except to grow. To rush this time seems harsh and unwelcome as I will most certainly want it back at some point. I always do.

Lastly there is the me that is heavily pregnant and expectant. I want to see and talk to my son...hold him....nuzzle his sweet little face and smell his precious newborn head. To inspect and appreciate every square inch of his little body so perfectly created as God intended from fingernails to knee wrinkles.

Thankfully I don't have to decide when my pregnancy is over and for today I am doing my best to look beyond my clumsiness and forgetfulness and take joy in the blessing that is pregnancy and the joy that is to come.