Finding "ok"...

When peace...like a river...attendeth my way....thou has taught me to say...it is well....it is well with my soul.

Apparently contentment isn't a completely natural response.  It's learned.  I may have missed earlier opportunities to learn this lesson...so here I am relearning it as of late.

Funny...while it's generally accepted that a trouble-free life is not guaranteed, in our culture we expect it.  We have insurance for the what-ifs and plan to never use it, we find it unfair that not everyone can have a cell phone and it seems reasonable for food stamps to be used in local restaurants.  We expect health, wealth and wholeness and there are even whole ministries founded on the idea that anything less indicates a lack of faith.  If you feel disadvantaged, you can fight for legal protections against discrimination.  I could really get on a roll here...you get the point.

The Bible says something else...in fact, what I read today guarantees us that we will have hardship...we see it in the lives of those whose stories have been passed down through the ages...Joseph...Noah...Ruth...John...Mary.  I can't think of a single person whose story is in the Bible that had it easy.  That isn't to say they didn't have it good.  So why do we hold the idea that somehow loving and following Jesus guarantees a sort of safety from the hardships of humanity?  **I have to interject that I DO believe that prayer is effective and God, in his grace, protects, grants grace and favor and guides us in our lives...no doubt about it** what I'm talking about here is the every day, whole life process of being and doing and growing.  So when hardship appears we feel shocked...surprised...wronged.

I have had a few Job moments...reminding myself..."Who do I think I am?" recently...reminded that God owes me nothing...He owes me nothing and gives to me anyway...grace. He loves me. There is nothing I can do or have done to "release" "grow" "improve" His grace toward me...that would make it something other than grace.  He is God and this is evidence of his goodness.

In light of this and when walking through shadowy days, circumstances, situations...I'm left with 2 choices...1) insist on my entitlements of happiness, perfection and beauty. Essentially choose the idolatry of happiness and self-satisfaction or 2) count it all joy...count each blessing...choose to be grateful...give thanks.  I'm finding that looking for the things I can be thankful for in the wake of heartache or in the midst of the day-to-day crazy brings such freedom.  I am not bound to the disappointment of imperfection. I am free to find gratefulness, joy and revelation in the nooks and crannies of life each day. It isn't always pretty or perfect, but it's there.

I am confident that until He restores everything there will be sadness...there may be tragedy...there will likely be heartache...but there will also be freedom, laughter, gratefulness and in this my soul rests.  Life is not easy...but it is well with me. He owes me nothing but in this He has given me everything.

Good stuff.